《伴我梦游（2012）》完整中英文对照剧本
开始之前 Before we begin, 我希望你把手♥机♥关机 I just want to ask you to turn off your phone. 因为我最近看电影的时候 I say that "cause I was at a movie recently, 旁边有个人接了个电♥话♥ and the guy next to me answered his phone during the movie. 他接电♥话♥时
原话是这么说的 And he answered it by saying, and I quote, 他说
"你谁啊" he said, "Who dis?" 也就是说
他不只是愿意跟某个人聊天 Which means, not only was he willing to talk to someone. 而是愿意跟任何人聊天 He was willing to talk to anyone. 不管对方是谁 He didn"t care who it "Das". 谢了 Thanks. 我不确定德语"说"的过去式是不是这样 I"m not sure what the past tense of "Dis" is, 这个人接电♥话♥时用到德语单词"说" 但他确实不在乎对方是谁 but he did not care who it "Das." 我要给你讲个故事
是真事 I"m gonna tell you a story, and, and it"s true. 我总要强调是真事 I always have to tell people that because, inevitably, 因为总免不了有人跑来问我 someone will come up to me, and they"ll be like, "是真的吗" "Was that true?" 我就说
"是真的" And I"ll be like, "Yeah." 然后他们还会问
"是吗" And they"ll be like, "Was it?" 我都不知道说什么好了 I don"t know how to respond to that. 我想是不是可以把嗓门放大再说一遍 Like, I guess I could say it louder, you know,
"是真的" like, "Yeah!" 他们是不是就会想
那应该假不了 They"d be like, "It"s probably true. 因为他说得这么大声 He said it louder." 上帝 God. 你还好吧 Are you okay? 还好
还好 Yes, yes. 故事要从我和女友艾比 It all started when my girlfriend Abby and I 决定同居的时候说起 decided to move in together. 我不完全确定这是明智之举 I wasn"t entirely sure it was the best idea. 实木地板
空间通透 Hardwood floors, lots of room. 我现在的公♥寓♥就比我的个子稍微大点 My apartment now is only slightly bigger than my body. 这套就好多了吧 So this is better? 是啊
这好多了 Yeah, yeah, this is better. 那就好 Good. 这里挺暗
我们可以粉刷一下 It"s so dark in here, so we can paint. 是啊
是啊 Yeah. Yeah. 如果你们喜欢
得快点做决定了 Well, if you like it, you should act quickly, 这房♥子今天就要卖♥♥掉 because this will go today. 我挺喜欢的 Well, I love it. 马特
你喜欢吗 Matt, do you love it? 你想
你想怎么...
Do you, what do you want... 你说我们要不要再看看别的地方 Well, I mean, do you think we should see other places, 还是就定这儿了 or are we rushing here? 好的 Yeah. 我们要了 We"ll take it. 那好
我们填一下... Good. Let"s fill out... 我当时并不觉得我的人生可以尘埃落定了 I just didn"t feel like my life was on sure footing. 艾比一直都更专注于我们的感情 You know, Abby was always the more focused of the two of us. 艾比在布鲁克林一家工作室教声乐 Abby was teaching these vocal workshops at a studio in Brooklyn, 布鲁克林
美国纽约西南部一区 受学生爱戴 and her students loved her. 而我则努力想成为喜剧演员 Meanwhile, I was trying to be a comedian, 但进展不如人意 which was not going so well. 我小时候想当喜剧演员 When I was a kid, I wanted to be a comedian, 说唱歌♥手
或者开一家披萨店 a rapper, or the owner of a pizza restaurant 可以供三年级学生来消遣消遣 where third graders could hang out. 没想到
喜剧演员没当成 I didn"t realize that instead of being a comedian, 却在一家有喜剧演出的酒吧当起了酒保 I would end up just working at a bar where they have comedy. 随着时间的推移 Like, over time, 我明白了对自己的目标要现实一点 I"ve learned to become more realistic about my goals. 拿我来说 Like, over time, for me, 我的梦想从演喜剧成名
the dream has gone from getting famous doing comedy 变成演喜剧维持生计 to making a living doing comedy 再变成在街上捡到 20 美元 to finding $20 in the street. 我觉得这就现实多了 I feel like that"s way more realistic. 我的喜剧事业进展不顺 So it wasn"t going too well. 但我不断地对自己说其实还不错 But I kept telling myself that it was, 因为想成为一名喜剧演员 because you, I think, to be a comedian, 就得有点痴人说梦的劲儿 you have to be a little bit delusional. 特别是起步期 Particularly starting out, 肯定失败重重 there"s just so much failure. 身处逆境
你得告诉自己 And amidst that failure, you have to tell yourself, 进展还不错 "It"s going quite nicely." 如果做不到
你就永远无法登台了 Because if you didn"t, you would just never get onstage again. 你会想
我就是不讨人喜欢 You"d be like, "I guess human beings don"t like me." 而这是难以面对的现实 That"s a hard reality to face. 实际上
有很多现实 As a matter of fact, there are a lot of realities 都让我难以面对 I have a hard time facing. 这个我们稍后再说 But we"ll get to that later. 伴我梦游 我把蓝色的包好了 I, I packed the blue thing 还有粉色的
在它下面 and then the pink thing that goes under it. 太好了
Perfect. 我还给你带了这些 And I got you these. 他们没卖♥♥不加盐的 They didn"t have unsalted, 所以我专门飞到非洲给你买♥♥的 so I flew to Africa and got you those, specially. 谢谢
艾比
课上得真好 Thank you, Abby. That was a great class. 再见
马丁
谢谢 Bye, Martin. Thanks. 谢谢 Thanks. 课上得其实不是很... Listen, the class was not... 是吗
那家伙看着挺开心的 Really? That guy seemed happy. 你签一下那个吧 And could you sign that? 那是给珍妮特的 That"s for Janet. 现在有批发贺卡的地方 They have a whole section now 专卖♥♥适合"妹妹订婚宴"的贺卡 for "Your Sister"s Engagement Party" cards. 这么明确啊 Wow. This is really specific. 是啊 Yeah. 我想删掉几句的 I was gonna cross some stuff out, you know. 删什么 Yeah? 别提离婚率
还有... No mention of divorce rate or... 要我把这写进去吗 Do you want me to write that in? 好啊
你写吧 Yeah, you could write it in. 为珍妮特和菲利普举杯 To Janet and Philip.
去年
我妹妹珍妮特订婚了 Last year, my younger sister Janet got engaged. 这就是珍妮特 That"s Janet. 还有我父母 And those are my parents. 婚姻就像 You know, marriage is like, well, you know, 就像这块蛋糕 it"s like this cake, you know? 你咬第一口的时候 When you first bite into it, 觉得没有比这更好吃的了 you can"t imagine anything better, 然后你吃啊
吃啊 and you eat, and you eat, 也许就吃腻了 and then maybe you"ve had enough cake. 我妈妈几乎要把我爸爸逼疯了 My mom seems to drive my father insane. 她总是"还有一件事"要说 She always wants to add one more thing. 对了
还有一件事 Ooh, and one more thing. 但其实没什么好说的了 But it"s rarely anything that deserves to be one more thing. 蛋糕是我从网上买♥♥的 I got the cake on the internet. 接下来该你了 You"re next. 看看周围 Yeah, just look around, man. 都冲你来了
宝贝 All of this is, it"s coming your way, baby. 快就位吧 Batter up. 她很漂亮 She"s beautiful. 看啊 Look at her. 她值得珍惜
She"s a keeper. 他们认识两年后菲利普就向珍妮特求婚了 Philip proposed to Janet 2 years after they met. 是两年半 It was 2 and a half years. 差不多三年吧 It was almost 3. 他们认识后的两年半 2 and a half years after they met. 好甜蜜 Very sweet. 可不是嘛 It was so sweet. 天啊
他们相识以来进展神速 And, boy, they"ve come a long way since then, 珍妮特跟我说 because Janet told me 他们第一次约会结束时... that at the end of their first date... 妈妈
别提这个了 Mom, you don"t have to tell that story. 说这个干什么 That"s not necessary. 他们第一次约会结束时
菲利普说 Philip said, at the end of their first date, "晚安
吉娜" "Good night, Gina." 可她叫珍妮特 And her name is Janet. 他连她的名字都不知道
亲爱的 He didn"t know her name, honey. 琳达
你在那儿说什么呢 Linda, what are you talking about in there? 弗兰克
我们在这儿聊天呢 Frank, we"re talking in here. 你应该加入我们 You ought to join us. 我现在知道了 Well, I know her name now. 我只有在床上才叫她吉娜 I only call her "Gina" in bed.
你怎么连这个都说 You can"t say that. 快告诉我
你们谈什么呢 Just tell me, what are you talking about? 菲利普知道珍妮特的名字了 Philip knows Janet"s name! 马特
你和艾比在一起多久了 Matt, how long have you and Abby been together? 八年了 Eight, eight years. 八年了 Eight years. 我都不记得有这么久了 I don"t remember it being so long. 真是荒唐
太夸张了 That"s silly. That"s ridiculous. 我习惯把东西都留着 I used to save everything. 听听你大二春天发给我的邮件 Listen to this email that you sent me sophomore spring. 我还把它们打印出来了 I actually printed these. 真大方啊 That"s very generous of you. 你一向都吝惜墨粉的 You"re very stingy with toner. 马特
我父母想让我去法学院 "Matt, my parents want me to go to law school, 但无论如何 "But I"m like, Whatever. 我要和我的乐队搬到纽约去 "I"m gonna move to New York with my band."" 然后乐队解散了 Yeah, and then that band will break up, 然后我又组了个乐队 and then I"ll have another band, 那个乐队后来也解散了 and then that band will break up, 然后我就教... and then I"ll teach... 天啊
My God. 小声点
你会把我爸妈吵醒的 Shh, you"re gonna wake up my parents. "你值得珍惜" "You"re a keeper." 对了
他那是想暗示什么 Right. And what does that imply? 是要你把我嘴里的钩子弄出来 That you"re gonna rip a hook out of my mouth 再把我扔回河里去吗 and throw me back? 他们要把我放生吗 They"re gonna let me live? 喝口水 Here. 麦克斯叔叔说的 And Uncle Max is so subtle "接下来该你了"
还真是委婉 with that whole, "You"re next," thing. 就好像
这些人没有自己的生活似的 It"s just like, these people just have no lives, you know? 你才不想结婚呢
是吧
I mean, you don"t want to get married, right? 你是在问我吗 Are you asking? 不是 No. 那我可能不想吧 Then, no, I guess. 艾比
屋里有只胡狼 Abby, there"s a jackal in the room. 艾比
屋里有只胡狼 Abby, there"s a jackal in the room! 什么 What? 这儿有只胡狼
就这儿 There"s a jackal, right there. 没有什么胡狼 There"s no jackal. 快回来睡觉 Come back to bed.
怎么了 What"s going on? 看啊
就在这儿 There, there. 马修 Matthew? 这儿有只胡狼 There"s a jackal. 没有胡狼
马修 That"s, there"s no jackal, Matthew. 那是储物篮 That"s the hamper. 睡觉去吧
亲爱的 Go to bed, sweetie. "屋里有只胡狼"
是吧
儿子 "There"s a jackal in the room," right, son? 宝贝
醒醒
没有胡狼
快醒醒 "Sweetheart, wake up. There is no jackal. Wake up." 我想他们听懂了
妈妈 I think they get it, Mom, yeah. 然后他一副要打空手道的架势 And he"s in this, like, little karate pose, 太可爱了
就在墙角 so sweet, in the corner. 尽管他都没学过空手道 And he didn"t even take karate, though. 马特
你空手道没入门吧 Hey, Matt, you were no belt in karate, I believe? 就是这样 That"s what it was. -那武术呢
-还不错 - How are you at kung fu? - Pretty good. 爸爸
你干什么呢 Dad, what are you doing? 你梦游多长时间了 How long has this sleepwalking been going on? 不行
爸爸
你这样又要犯心脏病了 No, Dad, you"re gonna get another heart attack if... -别紧张
-闭嘴
别吵 - Calm down. - Hush, hush. 他才不在乎呢
He doesn"t care. 我在医院和一些内科医生共事 You know, I work with some physicians over at the hospital 他们专门研究睡眠障碍 who specialize in sleep disorders. 我可以介绍你去看看 I could make a referral. 这或许会有帮助 That might be really helpful. 我不觉得有那么严重 I don"t think it"s that serious. 就发生过这么一次 You know, it"s only happened once. 没准只是个意外 Probably just a fluke. 这事可得留意了 Well, it"s something to keep an eye on. 艾比
他再梦游你会告诉我吧 Abby, can I count on you to tell me if it happens again? 谢谢 Thank you. 培根真好吃
亲爱的 This bacon is delicious, honey. 够油滑 Really greasy. 右转至马颈路 Turn right on Horse Neck Road. 缺钱花吗 You need money? 不缺
爸爸
我有工作 No, Dad, I have a job. 笑什么 Why is that funny? 你需要来点现实检验 Well, you need some goddamn reality testing. 需要车吗 You need a car? 不用
我不怎么开车 No, I don"t really drive. 也是 Right.
你可以开这辆车 You could have this car. 我们不打算要了 We"re giving it up. 我不知道 I don"t know. 你觉得呢
艾比 What do you think, Abby? 马特 Matt. 不用
不用 No, no, no. 别推了
拿着吧 No, take it. 谢谢 Thanks. 还好吗 Are we okay? 怎么了 Is something wrong? 马特
我不是说 Matt, I"m not saying 我想马上结婚什么的 I need to get married right now or anything. 只是觉得
我和你在一起这么久了 Just the idea that I spend all of my time with a person 你却觉得结婚毫无可能
让我有点难受 who can"t even imagine that as a possibility is just weird. 我懂你的意思 I know what you mean. 我说什么好呢 What can I say? 她说得没错 She was right. 但在人生的这个阶段 But at this point in my life, 我还在琢磨一些很根本的事 I mean, I was figuring out some really basic stuff like, 比如我这辈子要做什么 what am I gonna do with my life, 该去哪儿买♥♥麦片
and where do you buy cereal? 明白吗 You know? 我从来没把结婚当成一个目标 I mean, I never thought of marriage as a goal. 看着我父母的婚姻 Like, I never looked at my parents" marriage 又看见其他结婚超过 30 年的人 or really anyone who"d been married more than 30 years 我却从没想过
"我也要像他们那样" and thought, "I got to get me some of that." 不过艾比的确是我这辈子遇见最好的人 But Abby was the greatest person I"d ever met in my life. 我对艾比一见钟情 I fell for Abby from the moment I saw her. 她笑的时候
特别灿烂 She had this big, beautiful smile. 一口的牙
好像比头还大 Like, it seemed like her teeth were bigger than her head 不过很性感 but in a sexy way. 于是我鼓足勇气对她说 So I built up the courage to say... 你好 Hey. 你好 Hey. 我就是想说 I just wanted to say, 我彻彻底底
被你们的表演打动了 I really was moved by your performance just like on every level. 听着有点肉麻 Almost sounds creepy. 我确实有些肉麻的意思 No, I meant it in some of the creepy ways. 我经常在学校里遇见她 I kept running into her on campus. 你好啊 Hey. 因为我经常跟踪她 Because I was following her.
-马特
-马特
马特 - Matt. - Matt. Matt. 你好
艾比 Hey, Abby. 你好
是叫马特对吗 Hey, Matt, right? 对 Yeah. 我见到她
就会问 And I"d see her, and I"d say, 你这周末有空吗 hey, are you free, like, this weekend? 她会说没空
可那样子还是很美 She"d say no, which was hot also, 因为我知道她不会无故拒绝 "cause I knew she was sensible. 真的不行
我们在编四首新歌♥ No, really, we"re arranging four new songs, 都得排练 and they all need rehearsal. 最后
我给她来了一个慢速球 Eventually, I threw her an off-speed pitch. 我说 I said 那你想什么时候去教堂吗 do you want to go to church sometime? 什么 What? 我十岁以后就没去过教堂 Well, I haven"t been to church since I was, like, ten, 但是学校里有个不错的小教堂 but there"s this nice chapel here on campus, 我就在想
即使约会不顺利 and I was thinking, if the date doesn"t go well, 我们还可以聆听布道 maybe we"ll get something out of the homily. 就是现在
就是现在 Now, now, now, now, now, now, now 就是现在
就是现在 Now, now, now, now, now, now, now 我们俩的第一次
Abby actually had to convince me 还是艾比怂恿的 to have sex for the first time. 我真的很想和你做♥爱♥ I think I really want to. 好啊 Yeah. 滚开 Get out of here! 抱歉 Sorry. 她决定一起去个包住宿和早餐的旅馆 She decided we"d go to a bed-and-breakfast, 因为没有什么能比精心安排 because nothing alleviates 更能减轻第一次的紧张情绪了 the fear of sex for the first time like a really elaborate plan. 这就像那些 80 年代校园电影的翻转版 It was, like, a reversal of those "80s high school movies 片子里女孩说
"德温
我不能" where the girl is like, "Devin, I can"t." 德温说
"你可以的" And Devin"s like, "But you can." 她就像德温
而我成了莫莉·林沃德 She was Devin, and I was Molly Ringwald. 莫莉·林沃德
美国知名女演员 我觉得初次坠入爱河 I think falling in love for the first time 是一种非凡的体验 is such a transcendent feeling. 好比吃了披萨味的冰淇淋 You know, it"s like eating pizza-flavored ice cream. 大脑根本分♥析♥不了那种层次的喜悦 Your brain can"t even process that level of joy. 还有人要来吗 Is there anyone else? 你吗
来吧 Yeah? Yeah? Come on. 我想说说
饼干怪兽 I was thinking about Cookie Monster, you know? 儿童节目《芝麻街》中的角色
你们说
他是不是 And I was just thinking, like, do you think he, 得了饮食紊乱症呢 this guy has an eating disorder? 他只吃饼干 Like, all he eats is cookies, 连喉咙都没有 and he doesn"t even have a throat. 这不是在自欺欺人吗 You know, like, he"s only fooling himself. 还有竹节虫
听说过吗 And I was, like, I was thinking about stick insects, you know? 如果我是一只虫子 And, like, if I were an insect, 当然
我知道我不是虫子 I"m not an insect. Like, I know that. 但假如我是一只虫子 But, like, if I were an insect, like, 我就讨厌当竹节虫 I"d hate to be a stick insect 因为其他昆虫总是会撞到你 "cause all the other insects are always, like, bumping into you 因为他们不知道你在那儿 "cause they don"t know you"re there, 而你只能说
"看着点" And you got to just be like, "Watch it." 他们会说
"你看着像根树枝" And they"re like, "Yeah, you look like a stick." 你会说
"是啊
可我长着眼睛呢" And you"re just like, "Yeah, I have eyes." 然后他们说 And they"re like, "你闭着眼呢
更像了" "Yeah, they were closed. More sticks." 我的笑话讲完了 That"s all the jokes I have. -太棒了
-是吗 - That was amazing. - Yeah? 刚刚这是喜剧表演 That was a comedian. 在我们的生活当中
I really feel like our whole lives, 无论多没自尊 no matter how low our self-esteem gets, 我们心里总是会想 there"s some part of us that thinks, 我有一个不为人知的专长 "I have a secret special skill that no one knows about." 最后
我们会碰见一个人对你说 And eventually, we meet someone who"s like, 你真是深藏不露啊 "You have a secret special skill." 然后你会说
我知道
你也是 And you"re like, "I know. So do you." 我们去吃披萨味的冰淇淋吧 "Let"s eat pizza-flavored ice cream together." 这就是爱情 And that"s love. 爱情就是堆积如山的披萨味冰淇淋和幻想 It"s a mountain of pizza-flavored ice cream, and delusion. 你们举办了一场盛大的婚礼吗 You had a nice, big wedding? 是啊
真的很美好 Yeah, it was really beautiful. 你俩是青梅竹马吗 You guys grow up together? 可以这么说吧 You could say so. 我们住在同一个区 We lived in the same borough. 坐火车就能到 Like, one train ride away. 那汤米是个帅小伙吗 So Tommy"s a good-looking guy, huh? 我觉得是 Well, I think so. 你觉得这算一见钟情吗 You think it was love at first sight? 绝对是 Absolutely, yeah. 汤米
你最喜欢黛米什么 Tommy, what"s your favorite thing about Tammy?
我喜欢黛米的美貌 I like how Tammy"s beautiful on the outside. 而当你了解她以后 When you get to know her, 会发现她的心灵更美 you realize she"s beautiful on the inside. 遇见汤米之前我不知道什么是白马王子 Well, I didn"t know what Prince Charming was until I met Tommy. 现在我知道了 And now I know what Prince Charming is. 亲爱的
这是你录的吗 Honey, did you record this? 婚姻童话 正在播放列表 她可能就是喜欢那些节目 She could just like those shows. 没人会喜欢那种节目吧 I don"t think anyone likes those shows. 我就喜欢那种节目 I like those shows. 抱歉 Sorry. 我不明白 I don"t know. 抱歉
能帮我拿一下吗 Sorry. Could you hold this? 没问题 Yeah. 我就是不明白这有什么大不了的 I just don"t understand what the big deal is. 好吧
我也不知道怎么说 Right, like, I, I don"t know. 我一直觉得 I just had always assumed 你们俩会结婚 that you guys would get married, you know? 她真的很好 She"s amazing. 我想这就是问题所在 I think that"s the problem. 爸妈这么觉得
You know, it"s like, that"s how Mom and Dad feel, 我和艾比的朋友也这么觉得 and that"s how me and Abby"s friends feel. 所有人都认为我生命中最好的东西 Like, I think everyone thinks the best thing about my life 莫过于我的女朋友 is my girlfriend. 你会没事的 It"s, you"re, you"re gonna be fine. 听上去你是需要一些空间了 It sounds to me like you just need a little space. 也许你说得对 Yeah. No, you"re probably right. 你俩应该缓和一下 You guys should take a breather. 那是什么意思 What does that even mean now? 让她去和陌生人做♥爱♥吗 I mean, is it, like, she has sex with some stranger? 差不多 Yes. Probably. 那我可受不了 That"s unbearable. 是啊
不过不会让你知道的 Yeah, but, no, but you would never know about it. -那更不行了
-我就知道 - That"s worse. - I know. 是吧 Right? 有人采取过"无性"缓和吗 No, do people ever take, like, a "no sex" breather? 这样可行吗 Is that something that people could do? -没有吧
-有人做过吗 - No. - Do people have that? 我觉得没人这么着 No, I don"t think anyone has that. -没有吗
好吧
-没有 - No? Okay. - No. 你应该跟她谈谈 You should, you should talk to her.
跟她提一提
看她怎么说 Bring it up with her. See what she says. 好吧 Yeah. 不
我...好吧
我会的 No, I...Yeah, I"m gonna do. 今晚在座的有富人吗 Any wealthy people with us tonight? 有超级富豪吗 Any ultrarich millionaires? 我看也没有 I doubt it. 我竟然也已经开始涉足 I"ve actually begun dipping a few of my own toes 金融领域了 in the financial waters. 我发现我能在不到一周的时间里 I"ve discovered I can turn $1,000 into $420 把 1000 美元变成 420 美元 in less than a week. 我把剩下的钱存在一家网络银行 I have the rest of my money in one of these online banks. 还有谁
钱也被套进 Anyone else have money tied up 这些不可靠的机构里吗 in one of these shady institutions? 没事吧
潘达米格里奥 Are you okay, Pandamiglio? 没事
没事
我很好 Yeah, yeah, I"m good. 你没事吧 You okay? 没事
只是 Yeah. Just... 我今天和珍妮特聊了聊 I was just talking to Janet and today. 她有个想法 She, she had this thought. 什么想法 What was the thought? 就是
她说...
Um, well, she was saying that... 能给我来杯爱尔兰威士忌吗 Can I get a Jameson rocks? 好的
没问题 Yeah, yeah. 表演不错 Great set. 我也是个喜剧演员 I, I"m a comedian as well. 我有时也在这儿演出 I perform here sometimes. 再多来点威士忌 Jameson. 好的 Sure. 总之
就是 Anyway, it"s... 她有一个想法
她说... She just had this thought where she was just like... 你们好啊 Hey, guys! 好啊 Hello! 这是我们的宝宝 There"s our guy. 太可爱了 So adorable. -是啊
-你好
巴特勒 - Yeah. - Hi, Butler. 好漂亮的靴子 Nice boots. 能请我们两个喝一杯吗 Hey, can we get a couple free drinks? 当然可以 Yes. Yeah. 其实
是这样的 Actually, guys, you know, 马特和我有点事要谈 Matt and I were gonna have a little talk, 所以让我们先说两句 so maybe we could just talk for a second,
我马上就来 and I"ll come right back. 其实没什么大事 It"s no big deal, you know? 你们俩是在谈话吗 You guys having, like, a talk-talk? 就像考斯比秀里面那样吗 Like a Cosby talk? 考斯比秀
20 世纪美国情景喜剧 不
不
其实没什么 No, no, no. It"s not a big deal. 是像"西奥在学校成绩不好" Well, is it the, "Theo getting bad grades in school" talk 还是"瓦妮莎的初次约会"那种谈话 or the "Vanessa dating for the first time" kind of talk? 不
都不是 Yeah, I think it"s neither. 我们可以过后再谈 But we can talk later. 不
没事
我们现在就谈 No, it"s fine. We can talk now. 稍等我一下
来 Just give me a second. Here. 那好
没事
我们在那边等你 Yeah, totally. No, we"ll wait over there. -好的
-一会儿见 - Okay. - Bye. 总之就是... Anyway... 潘达米格里奥
特伦斯还没来 Pandamiglio, we"re still waiting on Terrence to show up. -你要来一段 5 分钟的吗
-好啊 - You want to do five? - Yeah. 那我马上请你上台 I"m gonna bring you on now. 好的
没问题 Okay. Sure. 我们一会儿再谈吧 Um, we can talk later. -好啊
加油
-我会的 - Okay, have a good set. - All right.
下面这一位
你们可能见过他 You may have seen this next guy 往你们的莫吉托[鸡尾酒]里加薄荷 crushing mint into your mojito. 让我们有请
马特·潘达米格里奥 Please welcome Matt Pandamiglio. 谢谢 Thanks. 前些天
我在看电视的时候 Um, I was watching TV the other day, 看到了天龙特工队 and I was watching The A-Team. 20 世纪美国经典电视剧 有些时候
我觉得 And I... you know, sometimes I feel like 这些家伙都不怎么用心 these guys aren"t even trying, you know? 我觉得
如果你是一个在逃犯 Like, I feel like if you"re on the run from the law, 就别动不动穿金戴银吧 you might want to go easy on the gold chains and feathers. 可能顺手牵羊从货车上拿瓶红带啤酒还行 Like, maybe take the red stripe off the van. 只是些想法而已 Just a couple ideas. 他以为你的储物篮里有只胡狼吗 So he thought there was a jackal in your hamper? 不是
他把储物篮当成了胡狼 No, he thought the hamper was a jackal. 这真的很... It was this really... 不过
那个周末
确实挺有压力 it was really stressful, though, that weekend... 他的父母
亲戚都在 his parents and relatives and everything. 我想
他也不是很好过 Just kind of a weird time, I guess. 你们应该也去生个宝宝 Well, you need to get you one of these guys, huh? 一切就迎刃而解了
是吧
彼蒂 That"ll fix everything, right, Petey?
对啊
当然了 Yeah, sure. 是吗 Yeah? 不
是的 No, yeah. 我不知道我是不是准备好了 I don"t know if I"m ready for one of these. 我也不知道马特准备好了没有 I don"t know if Matt is either. 拜托 Come on. 你就告诉他巴特勒需要小伙伴 Just tell him Butler needs buddies. 好吧
我是可以这样说 Yeah, I could say that. 巴特勒需要小伙伴 Butler needs some buddies. 可是...我从没说过这种话 That... I would never say that. 下面有请特伦斯·贝利 Please welcome Terrence Bailey, everybody. 特伦斯·贝利 Terrence Bailey. 你真棒 Yay! You were great! 你们也看到了吗 Did you guys watch? 我们在大学就听过那些笑话了 We heard those jokes in college, though, 那时候确实很好笑 and they were funny then. 空瓶子给我吧 Um, let me grab your empties. 再来一杯
先生 Uno mas, monsieur. 谢谢了
酒保哥 Thank you, bartender. 谢谢 Gracias. 晚饭后发生了什么呢
"What happened after dinner?" 我们回到家里 "We went back to my place." 然后呢 "Yeah. Then what?" 开始做♥爱♥ "Started making out." 然后呢 "Yeah! Then what?" 你好
伙计 Hey, man. 我刚才...我刚才上台了 I was just... I was just onstage. 表演了一段 Just did my set. 这个行业真是不可理喻
乱七八糟的 This business is insane, psychotic. 你叫什么来着
米克吗 What"s your name again? Mick? 马特 Matt. 马克
我在舞台上光芒万丈
对吧 Mack, I"m out there onstage killing, right? 是的 Yeah. 可是呢
我在好莱坞的朋友 Meanwhile, I got friends out in Hollywood, 都是些垃圾喜剧演员
烂透了 terrible comics, the worst, 四处模仿
不伦不类的 just leaking this derivative, 迎合那些喜剧白♥痴♥
你懂吧 pandering comedic pus, you know? 可他们却上情景喜剧了 But they"re on sitcoms. 的确 Sure. 他们有超大的游泳池 They have infinity pools. 还可以上飞行课 They"re taking flying lessons.
我还知道一个家伙有个威浮球体育馆 I know a guy with a Wiffle Ball stadium. 威浮球
改良版的棒球游戏 -是吗
-以前在这里工作过 - Yeah. - Used to work here. 现在他家后院就是个威浮球体育馆了 Now he"s got a Wiffle Ball stadium as a backyard. 真是恶心 It"s malignant. 是啊 Yeah. 我知道你的意思 I know what you mean. 看到那个女人了么 You see that woman over there, 拉着红色行李箱的邋遢鬼 that mess with the red roller suitcase? 看到了 Yeah. 那是我的经纪人
柯琳
真是没用 That"s my agent, Colleen. Useless. 是啊 Right. 我告诉她
带我出去吧 I told her, "Get me out of here. 带我到处走走
给我弄几个演出机会 Get me on the road. Get me some gigs out there." 结果她给我预约了六场演出
在五个州 Comes back to me with six gigs spread across five states. 150 美元一晚上 $150 a night. 太可悲了 Pathetic. 你好啊
伊恩 Hey, Ian, hi. 你好
柯琳
你好吗 Hey, Colleen, how are you? 谢谢你上周安排的演出 Thanks a lot for those gigs last week. 不用客气 Hey, no problem.
好吧
我要走了 Yeah. All right, I"m gonna go. 我明天和你联♥系♥ Maybe I"ll give you a buzz tomorrow. 好啊
好的 All right. That"ll be nice. Okay. 你好
我是马特 Hey, I"m Matt. 你好
马特 Hey, Matt. 你好吗 How are you? 很好 Good. 我...我看见你上台了 I... I saw you onstage. 是吗
真好 Yeah. Cool. Cool. 是啊 Yeah. 对了
那个 Well, yeah, hey, 如果你有什么
小型演出的机会 if there"s ever any, like, small gigs or... 或是别的什么...我都可以去 or anything really kind of... I"m around, 就和你说一声 just so you know. 你能表演多长时间呢 Yeah, well, how much time can you do? 我也不清楚 I don"t know. 大概 15 分钟左右吧 Probably, like, 15 minutes or so. 而且他特别擅长主持 And he"s great at hosting. 他一直都在这儿主持节目 He hosts here all the time. 在大学也有
你也预约大学的演出吗 And colleges, do you ever book colleges? 有过几次
A few, yeah. 他很受大学生欢迎 Yeah, he"s great with college students. 他们都喜欢他
觉得和他很有共鸣 They love him. They find him very relatable. 来
给你
马特 Well, here, Matt. 如果你想坐下来谈谈 Call me when you have... 可以和我联♥系♥ when you want to sit down and talk. 好啊 Okay. 好极了 Great. 好的
再见 Yeah. See you. Bye. 潘达米格里奥
卫生间里出了点状况 Pandamiglio, we got a situation in the bathroom. 你快拿个绒毛拖把来 You"re gonna need the fuzzy mop. 好的 Okay. 谢谢你帮我说服那个经纪人 Thanks for helping out with the agent stuff. 你总是能很清楚地表达你想要什么 You"re just much better at telling people what you want. 巴特勒真可爱
是不是 God, Butler really is adorable, huh? 巴特勒是谁啊 Which one"s Butler? 巴特勒 Butler. 巴特勒
那个小宝宝巴特勒 Butler, the... Butler the baby. 对了
那个宝宝
刚才我们见到的 The baby, yeah, yeah, the little baby we saw. 对啊
不
我想我是没怎么放心上 Yeah, no, I think I blocked that out 因为我有点怕小宝宝 "cause I have this fear of babies.
我总是担心 Like, I always get worried... 如果我抱着个孩子 like, what happens if I"m holding the baby 孩子死了
怎么办 and then the baby just dies, you know? 我就害死了这个孩子 And then I killed the baby. 好吧 Right. 而且
你知道的 And then... and... you know... 也许在那之后
你就不能 Yeah, you"re probably not gonna get, 收到圣诞礼物了 like, a Christmas present after that. 确实如此 Exactly. 他们会说
我们要给马特送什么呢 Then, "cause they"d be like, "What do we get Matt? 什么也不送
他害死了宝宝 Nothing. He killed the baby." 再如果
我想要领养一个宝宝 And then if I ever want to, like, adopt a baby, 他们会问我
你有没有害死过小宝宝呢 they"ll be like, "Have you ever killed a baby?" 我只能说
好像有 And I"d just be like, "Kind of." 是啊 Yeah. 你觉得巴特勒是不是需要些小伙伴 Do you think Butler needs some buddies? 什么 What? 我不知道 I don"t know. 我只是在想
也许巴特勒需要个小伙伴 I was just thinking maybe Butler could use a buddy. 我觉得他的伙伴肯定不少 I think he"s got a lot of buddies. 他看起来很...
He seems like he"s very... 不
他很可怜的 No. He"s a loser. 他一个朋友都没有 He doesn"t have any friends. 不
他朋友多得数不清 No, he"s got a million friends. 我每天都在街上看见他 I see him on the street every day. 好吧
什么时候 Okay, well, someday, 我们也许可以给他生个小伙伴 we"ll probably make him a friend, 所以我们今晚就来练习一下吧 so we may as well practice tonight. 你知道
我曾经一个人练习过的 You know, I"ve been practicing on my own. 你这是干什么 What are you doing? 我不知道 I don"t know. 我只是 I"m just, like, um... 我现在不想做
我的大脑不想 I"m just, like, not into this right now, intellectually. 你的大脑
你说真的吗 Intellectually? Are you serious? 算是吧 Kind of. 你呢 Are you? 算是吧 Kind of. 我今天和珍妮特聊了聊 I was... I was talking to Janet today, 她告诉我
去年 and she was saying that, last year, 她和菲利普缓和了一阵子 she and Philip took a breather 让他们之间更亲密了 and that it was, like, it made them closer.
什么 What? 不
她只是这么说了一下 No, it was just, like, this thing that she said. 我觉得还挺有意思的 I just thought it was interesting. 你是想说我们也要那样吗 Are you saying you think we should do that? 不
不
不
我不是这个意思 No, no, no. I"m saying they did that. 你是想去和别的女人做♥爱♥吗 Do you want to have sex with other people? 不是 No. 那你想要我去找别的男人吗 You want me to have sex with other people? 不
不是 No. No. 我觉得
他们那应该叫"无性"缓和 I think theirs was, like, a "No sex" breather. 太荒唐了 That"s ridiculous. 如果你不想和一个人在一起 If you don"t want to be with a person, 就应该直接分手 you should just break up with "em. 我也是这么说的 And that"s what I said. 你成功了
马特 You did it, Matt. 第三名 Third place. 第三名
什么第三名 Third place? In what? 我都不知道这是个比赛 I didn"t even know this was a competition. 不然我会好好准备一下的 I would have had more preparation. 什么第三名 Third place in what? 吸尘器大赛
DustBustering. 马特
我们好像搞错了 Matt, it looks like there"s been a mistake. 你其实是第一名 You actually got first place. 你真美 You"re so beautiful. 你应该站上去 You have to move. 谢谢 Thank you! 马特 Matt? 艾比 Abby... 发生什么事了 What happened? 我得了第一名 I got first place. 我去给你拿创可贴 I"ll go get a Band-Aid. 我记得
这是我第一次意识到 This is the first time I remember thinking, 好像确实挺危险的 "Well, this seems dangerous. 也许我该去看一下医生 Maybe I should see a doctor." 然后我又想
我还是吃晚餐吧 And then I thought, "Maybe I"ll eat dinner." 于是我就去吃晚餐了 And I went with dinner. 对了
还有一件事 And there"s one more thing. 我游泳俱乐部里那个伊莱恩 Elaine from my swim club 买♥♥了一个电饭煲 bought a rice cooker. 行了
亲爱的 Thank you, dear. 我要告诉他们
因为... Well, I"m just telling them because...
-我知道
-其实... - I know. - It"s part of... 你们有了...他们有电饭煲了 You have... they have a rice cooker. 谢谢 Thank you. 这个公♥寓♥真不错 Well, we love the apartment. 是的 Yeah. 是啊
是啊 Yeah, yeah. -谢谢你
-谢谢 - Thank you. - Thanks. 你们有打算装♥修♥一下吗 You gonna fix it up? 有啊
我们想先粉刷一下 Um, yeah, well, we want to paint, 再准备点窗帘什么的 and we want to maybe get some curtains and that kind of thing. 忙死了 Very busy! 我不得不说
真是太完美了 I think it"s perfect. I have to say. 琳达
上甜点吧 Linda, the dessert. -我们没准备甜点
-别吵 - We"re not having dessert. - Hush. 你妈妈在网上订了一个蛋糕 Your mother ordered a cake from the internet. 坐下...